Be Bold?

In the wee hours of the morning I decided that I had to write something due to some trigger points. I have never brought work back home but I had to, for the first time. Instead of focusing I bump into a certain kind of provocation to write this :

Be Bold ? You think it's so easy to Be Bold? 

Anyway, one must have the natural aura to be bold, you can't force yourself to be bold or do bold things just to make sure you are bold enough not to let any opportunities slip by you. Be Bold? Be a Fool I say! You should never be bold if you are not up for it. I don't know what's your definition of being bold but I tell you this : Being Bold means you must shoulder the responsibility of the public's view, you are constantly subjected to people's scrutiny. Can you bear with it?

No you can't because you are being bold for all the wrong reasons (which you think it's okay, best still you don't even realize it) and your only way of comforting / convincing yourself is this : "You Only Live Once" (YOLO) so you dont give a damn about others cuz you only care about yourself and how you look things. Isn't that selfishness?

If you are trying get attention by being bold (your own definition), congrats you've gotten my attention.

If being bold is your motto in life then I genuinely think that you are living your life in the wrong direction because you are not reflective of your so-called BOLDNESS. I'm guessing your BOLDNESS stems from and with the element of wowing and surprising people. Here's the thing, when ppl are surprised with your BOLDNESS, it doesn't show that ppl think that you are a real daredevil to challenge your limits and capabilities (some might even feel jealous that you have the guts to taste all kinds of adventures in life) but instead you must know there is a minor (major) possibility that ppl are just as surprised because they simply don't expect that from you.

To clarify further, allow me to have an illustration :

You are naturally an introvert. You are not a social butterfly. You are quiet and has not much to say. You prefer to be alone, not really a public person. You do things alone and prefer to just have your thoughts to yourself, pretty much reserved. You are in your comfort zone.

That is how you are and hence that's how people perceive you to be.

And then...

BOOM!

You tell everyone that your motto in life is being BOLD. So you do BOLD things. You appear BOLD. You look real BOLD. You tell the public that if you are not BOLD then you will never know how far you can go. And your life truly begins now : At the end of your comfort zone.

And then...

BOOM!

You go on to do bizarre things such as modelling , photo shootings : semi-naked photos, transparently-naked photos, high-sex-appeal photos, super cute (that's what you think) photos, tyra banks - wannabe photos, etc

You go on to join beauty (really?) pageant contests, you go for modelling tutorials, you go for diving lessons, you joined Toastmasters. You wanna show people that you are the tough nut to crack?

There you go... My perfect illustration of a Contradic-THOR.

My personal opinion :

To be fair to you, probably you are just gaining confidence from these little "small" steps "one at a time"

But to be fair to the eyes of others,

We might need to go through an eye-washer machine. Bear in mind that some might be disgusted with you. If you define your BOLD pictures as headliner pictures , elegant pictures , pictures which show a variety of emotions and poses, then I think you need to reevaluate what you stand for.

In the eyes of some minorities, you might stand for the Daredevil who pursues her dreams but you might also stand for a sex symbol which will invite the fox into the tiger's den (not sure if this canto-translated idiom is put correctly).

It is never easy to Be Bold. You must be able to carry BOLDNESS in the first place. If your BOLDNESS turns out negative then, you are only inviting very troubled attentions. Being Bold is a reflection of your personality. If you have it, you have it. You can't just train or equip yourself to be BOLD.

It's the same theory applied to "Elegance". If you can carry Elegance, it doesn't matter if you are using a fake handbag or fakey stuffs, you can still make it (deceive) elegant. But if you can't carry Elegance, no matter how much you spent on that original hand bag, people will still think you are a cheapskate. It make sense cuz it's the reality of life which you need to realize. The problem with you is no one is voicing out. Silence amounts to agreement hence you will gain confidence from it and continue doing what you are doing because you think it's ok, you think that other ppl think it's ok when it's not.

You must carry yourself well to be Bold. There's an old adage in Bahasa that sounds like this : "Ibu Ketam mengajar anaknya berjalan lurus".

Direct translation: "A mother crab teaching its young how to walk straight"

Moral of the story :  "Don't teach another crab to walk straight when you (crab) can't even walk straight"

My personal moral of the story :

Portraying a reflection of your true self is the best way of carrying yourself. People can sense how true you are to yourself.

Sorry for being mean and trying to dissect the message that you are trying to send out to your audience. I was just trying to indicate the contradiction that I'm seeing which caused this provocation to write.

Note to self :
1) Be Bold when your Mold is firm
2) No point Being Bold when your soul is Sold
3) Be as Bold as a Gold. A GOLD is naturally shiny to brighten up ppl's lives but most importantly it's true to it's nature (attributes) and it's valuable. Unless, the GOLD is from China. LOL.

p/s : Thanks for firing me up! Now I can stay up to work late! *Motivation mode - ON*

"i dont even know why am i so affected and agitated by someone that's of no importance / significance to me"

5681

Seems like fate? Or luck? Or coincidence?

Imagine if it wasn't 18/8/2013

Imagine if I did not leave home at that time

Imagine if I did not bump into her

Imagine if I did not wind down the window

Imagine if I just kept my mouth shut

Imagine if that four digits were not in my head

Imagine if that wasn't the amount

Imagine if I did not sign up for it

Imagine if ...


Moral of the story : 

We can't control a lot of things but the only thing we can control is ourselves. 

Always believe in doing good because karma is real.

Imaginations and ambitions are different. Choose the clear ambition instead of the vague imaginations. 

Bear in mind that if it's meant to be, it's meant to be. 

Don't worry, be happy =)

2 years seems like 2 weeks

It seems like only 2 weeks ago that you left us.

I still have that fond image of you smiling in my head.

I still remember how you sound like, people around us think that I sound like you

As much as people think that I look like you, I think I'm no where near the physical attributes that you possess.

 Probably the only inheritance (or probably I portrayed you too well) is actually our existence in any groups ; be it friends or family.

 I'm guessing its the aura and vibe that we give out to people are the same?

We reach out to people the same?

Best thing is socially I think that we are most alike! We know how to catch the right moment to say the right things! But sometimes probably too much to the liking of others? O.o Basically we just know how to talk to people of all kinds, women in particular

I half wonder how did mom coped with you if that was the case! LOL!

I was thinking for a moment that I'm actually more talkative and naturally prefer to mind other people's business but then again I recalled the story of your life in England. You were exactly like me, just that you chose to be the observer and no action taken. Prolly that's the true distinction between an engineer and a marketer =P

Since you are already up there, I'm not sure if my decision to be at HLB is something that you would encourage or not? Proud of or not? Was it a positive move? To "patsin" it's alright to make the move but to mom, she was okay in the beginning until... yeah so I think she wouldn't have expected that from me!

Little did she knew that the shoes seem to fit in so well that I was not following your footsteps but I'm in your shoes, just that it's 20 years later. I did not expect that as well.

Mom was so upset with me the other day but I knew deep down in her, she'd be telling herself : "Damn this scene is so damn familiar! Or,  Shit! Your son is following your footsteps!" Goes to show how much the HLB culture has changed 20 years on : STAGNANT

Looking at the bright side, I'm actually happy to go through this because I can relate to you. I can feel how you felt 20 years ago! =) The entertainments, the booze, the bosses, the women? (prolly I'm not there yet but I'm quite sure with the like father like son theory so women wont be an intervening issue).

The VOMITING part might be the hardest to take in. I've received uncountable lectures from your wife and your sisters just like how they did it to you last time. Yours was worse cuz your mom scolded you! LOL!

But now, I knew exactly how it felt, and i know certain things just cant be avoided, can't be explained. I dont know how to explain to your wife just like how you didnt know how to explain to your wife but I KNOW and YOU KNOW. Just cant be explained. Guy thing probably?

I remembered how you came back vomiting in the toilet , I was awaken by the sound of you vomiting. I was there to pat and soothe your back in the toilet. I'm not sure how many times, but I remembered a good couple of times I was there. I knew how you felt, just that I don't have anyone to pat my back! LOL!

Plus, I can't make it so obvious cuz we'll get locked out of the room! LOL! Don't laugh, you know and I know you got the "locked room" treatment! Now I've gotten a taste of that treatment too! =S

Don't worry, I will not cause your wife to be over-worried. Just so you know I know how to protect myself and avoid certain situations. I knew you were there during the Stanley's KTV party incident, and that is why I did not feel any effects/after effects or what-so-ever. Thanks! =)

I knew you were there when I stepped into HLB , hence no fear at all during the interview! 2 weeks into the job I also found out that HB and HLP were actually on the same floor as Commercial/Business Banking Division. So I got a glimpse of how you actually walked in there 20 years ago? I'm not sure, but I certainly thought so, since mom told me that you don't go there often.

I think the way I make people feel my presence is probably the same as you, and I hope just like you, I wont step onto anyone's tail and be likeable by all ranks in the organisation.

I promise you I will improve on my work ethics because I know I'm no where near you.

It's been 2 years but last night when I closed my eyes, I still see your image very clearly. A few images in fact altho I wished you appeared in my dreams!

Life is short, and I'm getting older so we must do things while we are able to! YOLO!!

You are still deeply missed.