31/7/2012

Exactly one year ago, you were having your golf tournament.
Exactly one year ago, you continued to push on for victory
Exactly one year ago, you were brave enough for even wanting to drive yourself to the hospital
Exactly one year ago, you were strong
Exactly one year ago, your heart was strong but
Exactly one year ago, your heart wasn't strong enough for the second attack
Exactly one year ago, you lie on the hospital bed with your favourite brand new striking red pants
Exactly one year ago, I removed the gold necklace from your neck
Exactly one year ago, we cried in disbelief

Exactly one year later, it felt exactly like one year ago
Exactly one year later, I still believe you are around
Exactly one year later, we are stronger than before
Exactly one year later, we are still here with mummy
Exactly one year later, I still have the image of you dancing in my head
Exactly one year later, your son's graduation picture is hung on the wall
Exactly one year later, your picture is also hung on the wall but
Exactly one year later, we know both pictures serve different purposes

I know you are always looking after us. I know the genius-ness/awesome-ness in me is inherited from you.(self proclaim a bit) Street smart? So were you the one who saved me/us in Perhentian? I really think so! A moment of ... (i cant find the right word) but it just came to my mind to swim towards the ropes, grab hold of it and pull myself back towards the boat. If it's not for that, the rest of the ppl will not follow exactly what I did. Just a moment of...(still cant find the word) but i know it's you, it's you.

Something rather ironic and bothering happened on this very exact date, dad. I was comtemplating whether or not to pay you a visit ( later that night mom said we shouldnt and luckily there were obstacles that prevented me from doing so ). During lunch time, a few of my colleagues and i were deciding where to have lunch and finally we decided to walk to the nearby restaurant to eat. Once we were done, I saw a bunch of ppl walking in and guess what? They were your ex colleagues aka bosses aka shareholders. Funny thing is that I sense fear in them. A few were looking at me (i resemble you so we give out the same aura? LOL) and looked away. It was an awkward moment for me. However before leaving, i decided to go and have a few words with ur boss. Funny how he can just recognise me without even introducing myself. Weird but I sense something funny/fishy/wadever u call it. At night when i told mom bout this she laughed gingerly. "Dad not here but his presence is still being felt"

I dont know what happened, etc in regards with ur work but if u r talking about a representation, I think I'm doing quite a good job in representing you, naturally that is.

I am still so damn busy that I cant find time for your little fishes, and also cant find time to really pick up golf. I told myself and you that I will win something, and the first trophy i am going to win is for you.

So pls give me the power, bless me with your strength and determination to succeed in anything I do. Work's still a b*tch. Lacking motivation. Pure Laziness. Save me.

Truth?

I dreamt of you? Am I sure? Yes I am pretty sure. It's all worth it just to have a glance eventhough I woke up in tears. How I wish whatever that was in the dream materialised in the past? I'm sure it's you. But I'm not sure if it's only you. I miss you.

resemblance & reactions

We had a great pre-CNY visit from a few of me dad's good friends all the way from Singapore. Thank you Aunty Gwen, Uncle Jeff and Martin. I appreciate how well we clicked in the absence of dad but Aunty Gwen felt that dad was with us at Beer Factory!!! And im sure if dad was around, he would have been happy =) beer with mom? since when that was even possible? LOL! We got to try different types of Belgium beer and got to know the story behind from a very likely souce : the knowledgable Uncle Jeff, my dad's good friend. Friends whom are not materialistic / monetary minded that is.

On another note, we got some surprise visitors the next morning. Dad, Im proud of you and im sure you are proud of me. I dont need a cool dad/mom who gives me money to travel ard Scotland to feel proud of me, I dont need to feel proud of parents who boasts about their son's graduation in London when their son should actually be ONE year ahead of me and yet graduated later than myself. I dont need you to tell us how great your trip with ur family was to Italy because Dad, I promise you one day when all 4 of us succeed, we will stick together and let mom enjoy life like how she was supposed to be pampered by you.

We know who your true friends are and I know you are happy up there looking at us. Uncle Jeff said to me " You got your father's PR skills! " and that alone makes me feel proud of myself and having Sam Choong as my dad. Period.

reminiscence

The other day after my coaching session, I sat down to watch the uncles play. It got me thinking "imagine if Dee is around, partnering me/brothers, showboating and thrashing others proudly".

And then at the corner of my eye, I saw a father playing badminton with his kids. It reminded me of how Dee used to play with us badminton at the garden, hitting the shuttle upwards for 100 times, aiming to smash the shuttle towards flower pots to showcase his pin-point precision and how he was always semi-naked.

I remember you bought us to play with the uncles @ KLGCC. I missed those times. In particular, you brought me to the driving range ONCE, now you left your indiscipline/lazy/impatient son to pick up golf on his own? LOL

Those were the days, the good old memories.

I hope I can tell my kids how great their grandpa was, but I hope to be closely attached with my own kids, so that they can tell their kids how great I was =P