Easier to run by myself?

What do i do to ignore them behind me?
Do I follow my insticts blindly?
Or do I follow the norms boldly?

Do I hide my pride from these negativity?
Do I lose myself in these bad dreams?
And give in to sadly sorrow thoughts that are maddening?
Do I sit here and try to stand it?
Or do I stand up and do something about it?
DO I make the right moves that I'm lost within?
Or DO I find myself within my wrong moves?

I can’t hold on watching everything spin,
With thoughts of failure sinking in,
I just end up getting hurt again,
By myself ?

So would it be easier to run?
Replacing this pain with something numb?
Would it be so much easier to leave?
Than face all this pain here all alone,
By myself ?

Running only gets me further away from myself,
Replacing doesn't stop the rot,
Doesn't put the bad haunting dreams to a halt,
Leaving only places my pride in deeper negativity.

So If I could change I would,
Take back the pain I would,
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would,
If I could stand up and take the blame I would,
If I could take all the shame I would,
Turn it into lessons not to be forgotten I would,
Take time to realise I would again,
Retrace one wrong choice that I made I would,
Turn it into morals to be remembered,
By Myself !