Truth?

I dreamt of you? Am I sure? Yes I am pretty sure. It's all worth it just to have a glance eventhough I woke up in tears. How I wish whatever that was in the dream materialised in the past? I'm sure it's you. But I'm not sure if it's only you. I miss you.

resemblance & reactions

We had a great pre-CNY visit from a few of me dad's good friends all the way from Singapore. Thank you Aunty Gwen, Uncle Jeff and Martin. I appreciate how well we clicked in the absence of dad but Aunty Gwen felt that dad was with us at Beer Factory!!! And im sure if dad was around, he would have been happy =) beer with mom? since when that was even possible? LOL! We got to try different types of Belgium beer and got to know the story behind from a very likely souce : the knowledgable Uncle Jeff, my dad's good friend. Friends whom are not materialistic / monetary minded that is.

On another note, we got some surprise visitors the next morning. Dad, Im proud of you and im sure you are proud of me. I dont need a cool dad/mom who gives me money to travel ard Scotland to feel proud of me, I dont need to feel proud of parents who boasts about their son's graduation in London when their son should actually be ONE year ahead of me and yet graduated later than myself. I dont need you to tell us how great your trip with ur family was to Italy because Dad, I promise you one day when all 4 of us succeed, we will stick together and let mom enjoy life like how she was supposed to be pampered by you.

We know who your true friends are and I know you are happy up there looking at us. Uncle Jeff said to me " You got your father's PR skills! " and that alone makes me feel proud of myself and having Sam Choong as my dad. Period.

reminiscence

The other day after my coaching session, I sat down to watch the uncles play. It got me thinking "imagine if Dee is around, partnering me/brothers, showboating and thrashing others proudly".

And then at the corner of my eye, I saw a father playing badminton with his kids. It reminded me of how Dee used to play with us badminton at the garden, hitting the shuttle upwards for 100 times, aiming to smash the shuttle towards flower pots to showcase his pin-point precision and how he was always semi-naked.

I remember you bought us to play with the uncles @ KLGCC. I missed those times. In particular, you brought me to the driving range ONCE, now you left your indiscipline/lazy/impatient son to pick up golf on his own? LOL

Those were the days, the good old memories.

I hope I can tell my kids how great their grandpa was, but I hope to be closely attached with my own kids, so that they can tell their kids how great I was =P

All I Want for 2012 is . . .

1. To be a better negotiator
2. To take life with a pinch of salt
3. To challenge myself to go beyond my limitations
4. To never forget my roots
5. To not let ppl I love worry about me
6. To never be contented with what I have so that I can work harder
7. To love the people around me
8. To not neglect the little things in life
9. To smile and laugh eventho life can be bitchy at times
10. To take control of myself
11. To learn to take things positively
12. To forgive and forget
13. To love and give
14. To remind myself that I am not alone
15. To pick up golf
16. To never give up on myself
17. To never give up on your team
18. To have a healthy lifestyle
19. To be careful in everything I do
20. To have a heart and faith in everything I do

Thoughts

can turn into an idea. An idea can manifest and shape a person's beliefs.

" What is the most resilient parasite? Bacteria? A virus? An intestinal worm? An idea. Resilient... highly contagious. Once an idea has taken hold of the brain it's almost impossible to eradicate. An idea that is fully formed - fully understood - that sticks; right in there somewhere. "


Ever since your passing I had a seed planted in my mind telling me that I dont have to be afraid of death because I know you are waiting for me somewhere only we will know...

-

I want to wake up every morning knowing how I will end the day : satisfied and no regrets that I've lived the fullest for that day. And not wake up knowing that heck, I'll be late to work, wondering what is installed for me today. All these made me stop for a while and ponder upon my own life, using Steve Job's life as a parameter.

Do I even know what am I meant for? Am I meant for bigger things or is this what I am ? Is this what I'm suppose to do? Am I even fit for this? Am I even in my comfort zone? When am I suppose to step out of it? Can I survive it?

Like what Steve Jobs once said, death is the biggest motivator in our lives. We know life is short and uncertain, that's why people strive for the best and when their time is up, they can look back at their flourished lives with no regrets. As we age, death will inevitably draw closer to our realization. So? Are we going to make a change, or are we making a big fuss about it without any actions ( NATO = No Action Talk Only)? I'm certainly making a big fuss out of it hoping for the day when technology becomes so advance, we don't have to die.

"Like a cyclist, we must keep our eyes on the road ahead, continually adjust and adapt to stay balanced and move forward. Once we stop peddling, we come to a standstill and fall. In sports or in business, stopping or slowing down is not an option. If the terrain is tougher and more uphill, we just have to peddle harder and faster, to keep moving and staying in the race. Times may be tough, but business must go on. We need to operate more productively in an unforgiving market environment and learn to cope with uncertainty and volatility."

Does it apply to life as well? Continue to adjust and adapt, be relevant? Then we're just slaves to what the society/economy wants us to be? Steve Jobs would have disagreed with this, as he did not adjust and adapt, but embrace the future with what he wants the world to be, and how he can create a need in society. Regardless of whether we are slaves or not, one thing is certain, we can't stop peddling. Life must go on whether we like it or not, it's just a matter of how fast you peddle. As we are peddling steadily wading through all the bumps in life, we'll come to a point where we realised that we've peddled so far and we're on the verge of reaching our final destination : gates of heaven / hell. And then what? Look back at the colorful journey, smile and goodbye? Is life really as simple as that? Really?

I just don't want to forget the route that I took. I want my journey to be as significant as possible. I want to touch lives along the way, I want them know my significance ( kinda selfish but well.. I think I want pride and fame lol ). BUT THEN again, before all these, I must start somewhere.

I must start the day knowing exactly how it is going to end : waking up late, yawning after lunch only after midday and driving through the stupid peanut butter JAM isn't how I want the day to be. GREAT.

Where'd You Go?

Where'd you go?

I miss you so,
Seems like it's been forever,
That you've been gone.

Some days I feel like shit,
Some days I wanna quit, and just be normal for a bit,
I don't understand why you have to always be gone,
I get along but the night always feel so long,
And, I find myself trying not to stay awake,
'Cause your image and words always helps me to not feel so alone,
But I feel like an idiot, I wished I had talked to you more,
I wished I dialled your number more often than you did to me
But when I pick up the phone I don't have much to say,


So, I want you to know it's a little fucked up,
That I'm stuck here waitin', at times debatin',
Tellin' you that I've had it with you,
Until the day I succeed far better than you,
I will always ask myself "Where'd you go?"